my nerves are so fried :( i love the city but damn is it a lot on my poor heart. the sburbs are where rock and roll goes to die. i'm living stir crazy and in pieces.
i looked through all my old diaries today for notes on silobe'. turns out only the latest two had anything to do with that world. the rest was an excersize in embarrassment and humility. i don't mind really. can't get too high on that horse lest the fall fucking kill me.
i'm trying to put together a series bible. goddamn what a joke. my notes are everywhere. its hard to decipher my unmedicated scribbles. but it is helping focus me. i have an old notebook i'm going to copy everything down into. hopefully that will be a solid reference once compiled. i feel like this will be a further excersize in the price of hubris. oh well.
otherwise, live and breath and work. i like my job actually. i like the people.
letter 1: please don't hate me.
i recently sent my first letter to a new pen pal. you know the feeling. the "please like me" feeling when you meet new people. some are more desperate than others. i hope i don't lie too far outside the bell curve. that would be awkward.
i've never sent a pen pal letter before. i really hope this goes well. i'm working on manifestation. working toward positive outcomes while thinking about positive outcomes. i think its silly. but i like it, just like horoscopes.